3

number three.

just watched the last exorcism. for those who aren't easily scared by movies - not recommended. although slightly scary at the time, the ending is just annoying. one of those 'what happens next?!' movies. Rather differently, watched the justin bieber movie 'never say never' with two of my best friends yesterday. not being completely infected with 'bieber fever', the movie got sort of boring towards the end..its like - we get it! justin biebers amazing little child prodigy blah blah blah. i bet he's a brat in real life. by the end, watching my friends reactions to the movie were actually more entertaining than the movie.

one of my best friends told me something today, which proved how much trust she had in me. its one of those things that you feel like you need to help with, like theres a pressure on you to help now that you've been told and you feel sort of obliged to. It just doesnt seem to make sense to me. this girl is stunning, smart and funny (with a slight obsession for all things cheesy)..but to find a fault in her isn't an easy task. i guess the saying 'everyone is their own worst critic' comes into play here. so just incase she happens to stumble across this blog i would like to say: girl your crazy.

three is my lucky number, and seeing as this is my third blog..hopefully it'll do this girl some good. and give this a listen. good rainy day song :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6N3jUDKzq0

J x

2

number two.

early rise today. went to the corner shop to get an apple, and saw daffodils beginning to grow outside my house. sounds so cheesy i know, but put a smile on my face..nice to know that we're finally coming out of the bitterly cold winter :)

surrounding myself with my family, and those who might as well be family really brought my mood up after a long time. and i left my second-sister's house feeling genuinly happy, completely satisfied with life. if you spend to much time with one group of people you begin to forget how fun it is with the others, and i realised that today. although i do love my friends with alllll my heart..they got nothing on my family ;)

so to all of you (you know who you are) who are, or might as well be, my family; feel loved, because you lot are very important to me.

wow mood swings or what?!

J x

1

loads of people are doing this now, thought i'd try it :). massive mood swings lately, which no one seems to understand. you know that feeling when it seems like the rest of the world are on a different planet to you, and your trying to get back down but you can't..been getting that alot lately. favourtism seems sort of apparent in the family dynamics at the moment, and not in my favour, but i dont really blame them..i'm not exacty the perfect kid alot of the time. the word 'misunderstood' has popped up quite alot lately, and drifting from someone recently who i used to be so close to made me feel more lost.

realised today just how much people can be judged. by first meeting someone who seemed to automatically resent me, probably because i didnt dress talk or act how they liked, i questioned for a second whether i should probably change myself if my first impression was that bad, but then realised i don't act to impress anyone, i act in the way i am because its me.

i had another realisation over the past few days. it's one of those things that you dont really realise and then one day BAM, it suddenly comes to you. the 'bam' happened to me, and trying to fix it only made me realise how broken it actually was, feeling like an outsider with someone i was so close to, in a place that seemed like a refuge to me was quit a shock. i still have this idea in my head that this feeling can dissapear if i really want it to, but i dont know if thats just wishful thinking.

best way to get away from the thoughts you want to dismiss is putting your big headphones on, blocking out everything else and listening to mumford and sons, or drake, and thats what i've been doing. it always helps.

J x