10

ten.

DONE with exams. a week and a half left of school, amazing few weekends lined up...basically what i've been waiting for for weeks! only thing getting me down is the weather. its summer, it shouldn't be raining.

beginning-of-summer songs:

how to love - lil wayne

top of the world - the cataracs ft.dev

saved - tinashe

walking disasters - the wombats

be back soooon!

J x

9

number nine.

so i have exams in five days...and i'm blogging. anything to avoid revision! actually counting down the days till next weekend, i love that 'exams are over' feeling' and not feeling guilty about not revising...not that the guilt is actually having an effect on me..i'm still doing this instead of revising right? oh well, i never really wanted to be a chemist, physicist or business woman anyway!

music:

Tinie Tempah - So Addicted (feat. Bei Maejor)

Weelynho Feat Drake - Fuck Y'all

Keri Hilson - Lose Control ft. Nelly

yes, incase you were wondering..i find new music when im on lockdown and get bored. enjoy :)

J x

8

number 8.

despite the fact that i've got gcse's in like two weeks, i'm in an insanely good mood! been revising-ish for the past few days..really exciting stuff. i will never understand why i need to learn about limestone and it's uses. when am i ever going to need to know the chemical name for quicklime? i wont. but apparently it's very important if i want to get a good mark in science.

i was thinking of just writing on the exam paper 'i dont believe in science therefore i refuse to answer any of these questions as it goes against my morals' in the hope of getting some marks for it..worth a shot for anyone who thinks they're gonna fail anyway!

but everythings good, no problems. maybe this is just a mood swing..im not sure its normal to be in such a good mood whilst being forced to stay home and revise..ah well hope it lasts!

you know those songs that youve had on your itunes for ages but ever really noticed, but then one day you're just like wow this is a really good song?..uni-ed sheeran. love the lyrics..

click on:

UNI - ed sheeran

J x

7

number seven.

kagflhvblaiurbaiqubr;gvabeljhbajhbfljhf

that is all. goodbye.

J x

6

number six.

summer summer summer. so close i'm actually crossing off the days till i break up from school. generally just puts you in a good mood, its like the sun is contagious :)

hmmm, remember the time i said i was drifting from someone a few blogs ago? drifting is an understatement now..more like in completely different oceans half away across the world from eachother..but i'm happy with it, or atleast i have to be. its better for both of us to not be friends, but better isn't what i really want. human nature rejects the whole concept of whatever might be better for you, and instead concentrates on other things..like stupid memories of the 11 years we've known eachother, or the handprints painted onto my wall. i see her everyday, we have the same friends, yet we haven't talked for over a month..i'm starting to realise how permanent this will be.

but anyways, exams should be on my mind right now. avoiding revision. and if you are like me, and think that doodling on your revision book, or making the 'work corner' of your room look pretty will help you do get an A*...wishful thinking. gotta stop running away from it!

hopefully by next time i blog, i will have at least put a dent in my pile of revision..

until then, listen to this..she has an absolutely amazing voice

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAaos80oPqg

J x

5

number five.

A word of advice; don't draw on your sister's face with red lipstick if you get bored at a wedding, because you will get people starring at you and silently judging..along with your mother saying in a progressively louder - and angrier - tone 'behave yourself!'..which probably has not been familiar to your ears for a good few years. but what can i say, i was bored.

michael jackson's new album - that annoyed me. he didnt actually finish it before he died...none of the music is his; and you can tell. akon apparently thinks that he's talented enough to finish a song and claim michael jackson was a main participant in it. the fact that he thinks this indicates that he is a bit ahead of himself. he also needs to stop inhaling helium balloons. The rest of the album is obviously not finished by michael jackson himself...doesnt have the same touch to it. if you haven't already guessed..i don't like that album. trying to make money off a dead man isnt admired by most people.

i also don't like rude people. i just thought i'd put that out there. not that i can say i'm not cocky, sarcastic and moody at times..but some people need a slap around the face! but it would be a bit ironic to slap someone if i'm complaining about rudeness, so i can't do that can i?

anyway, good weekend. i'll be back soooon!

J x

4

number four.

well haven't been on here for a while, hello :). hmm since last time i blogged, i'm not as 'depressed' it seems. everything is good. recently drifted massively and quickly from a very close best friend. well i didnt really 'drift'..more like ran away really. mother always says people change, and sometimes personalities just don't blend as people change and mature (or do the opposite, in her case). the truth is, you don't need people as much as you think you do. even when you think a friendship is tied by strings made from gold; anything can be distroyed when it just gets too much. if you are also deceived in the same way i was, thinking that the duration of a friendship had some impact on it's importance; it doesn't. you could find a better friend in someone you've known for an hour than one you've known for ten years. but anyway, probably a bad idea to trash someone on the internet!

summer, that's what we're all waiting for. we're at that awkward inbetween stage, its not summer or winter. not hot or cold..its nothing. big on drake recently, not that i have ever not loved him..but is it weird that his voice relaxes me? not sure about that one!

Okay, we outta here, toodles to you bitches.

J x

3

number three.

just watched the last exorcism. for those who aren't easily scared by movies - not recommended. although slightly scary at the time, the ending is just annoying. one of those 'what happens next?!' movies. Rather differently, watched the justin bieber movie 'never say never' with two of my best friends yesterday. not being completely infected with 'bieber fever', the movie got sort of boring towards the end..its like - we get it! justin biebers amazing little child prodigy blah blah blah. i bet he's a brat in real life. by the end, watching my friends reactions to the movie were actually more entertaining than the movie.

one of my best friends told me something today, which proved how much trust she had in me. its one of those things that you feel like you need to help with, like theres a pressure on you to help now that you've been told and you feel sort of obliged to. It just doesnt seem to make sense to me. this girl is stunning, smart and funny (with a slight obsession for all things cheesy)..but to find a fault in her isn't an easy task. i guess the saying 'everyone is their own worst critic' comes into play here. so just incase she happens to stumble across this blog i would like to say: girl your crazy.

three is my lucky number, and seeing as this is my third blog..hopefully it'll do this girl some good. and give this a listen. good rainy day song :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6N3jUDKzq0

J x

2

number two.

early rise today. went to the corner shop to get an apple, and saw daffodils beginning to grow outside my house. sounds so cheesy i know, but put a smile on my face..nice to know that we're finally coming out of the bitterly cold winter :)

surrounding myself with my family, and those who might as well be family really brought my mood up after a long time. and i left my second-sister's house feeling genuinly happy, completely satisfied with life. if you spend to much time with one group of people you begin to forget how fun it is with the others, and i realised that today. although i do love my friends with alllll my heart..they got nothing on my family ;)

so to all of you (you know who you are) who are, or might as well be, my family; feel loved, because you lot are very important to me.

wow mood swings or what?!

J x

1

loads of people are doing this now, thought i'd try it :). massive mood swings lately, which no one seems to understand. you know that feeling when it seems like the rest of the world are on a different planet to you, and your trying to get back down but you can't..been getting that alot lately. favourtism seems sort of apparent in the family dynamics at the moment, and not in my favour, but i dont really blame them..i'm not exacty the perfect kid alot of the time. the word 'misunderstood' has popped up quite alot lately, and drifting from someone recently who i used to be so close to made me feel more lost.

realised today just how much people can be judged. by first meeting someone who seemed to automatically resent me, probably because i didnt dress talk or act how they liked, i questioned for a second whether i should probably change myself if my first impression was that bad, but then realised i don't act to impress anyone, i act in the way i am because its me.

i had another realisation over the past few days. it's one of those things that you dont really realise and then one day BAM, it suddenly comes to you. the 'bam' happened to me, and trying to fix it only made me realise how broken it actually was, feeling like an outsider with someone i was so close to, in a place that seemed like a refuge to me was quit a shock. i still have this idea in my head that this feeling can dissapear if i really want it to, but i dont know if thats just wishful thinking.

best way to get away from the thoughts you want to dismiss is putting your big headphones on, blocking out everything else and listening to mumford and sons, or drake, and thats what i've been doing. it always helps.

J x